The 3 Colors of Love

My native style is rational (leaning toward doctinal) and I have just re-read that part of the book. I definitley relate to the feeling of mistrust of simple answers and the striving for explanations that are mentioned. I have also experienced how the questioning mindset confuses people - and how it can offend people. It seems that sometimes when I ask questions(even with the explanation that I want to be able to embrace the person's viewpoint on a spiritual matter so I need to understand it more fully), that the person begins to defend their point of view dogmatically, thus preventing a real discussion. I really want to interact with those of other spiritual styles in a "spirit of exploration" but how can I encourage this? I seek to be engaged in the community of believers as I seek understanding and not just do so on my own.